The Struggle is Real

I've been really struggling to find my voice recently.  Blogging has been feeling a lot like a chore and it shouldn't be that way.  I have found myself in this place many times before and I know there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and I do feel as though I'm reaching it, but I do still wonder whether my time here may be up?

I struggle to see where my blog is headed, what direction it needs to take.  Since moving from the country into the city I've found it hard to know how to continue in this space.  I'll be honest, I'm really surprised I've managed what I have.  The trouble I have is that I know my situation isn't about to change anytime soon.  With that in mind I need to either call it a day or pull myself together and focus.  I'm swaying more towards the latter purely because I enjoy writing and I have put so much time into this space that it would be a real shame to let it go.  It may just mean that things will look a little different around here. 

The important thing for me is not to put too much pressure on myself.  I feel that I am still getting to know myself after everything that has happened.  It's like I'm not entirely sure who I am anymore, which may sound strange to anyone else who may be reading this.  The only way I can even begin to explain it is that we live in a society of labels.  A Mum, a Dad, a Husband, a Wife, you get the gist.  Only I feel like I've lost my label now, it's been taken away from me, something completely out of my control and I'm still in that re-adjustment period where I'm getting to know the real me.  It's all part of the process I know that, and I understand that it is going to take time.  I've just got to roll with it, because at the moment it is all that I can do.

As I'd mentioned in my May bucket list, I have a fair few posts sitting in my drafts, although after reviewing them some seem irrelevant now so will most likely be binned.  However I do have some ideas of future blog posts so I intend to publish those real soon.  Until then thank you for bearing with me.

~ Gem x

A Piece of Cake

Last week we celebrated my Nan's 80th birthday.  Now this isn't usually the type of thing I would share on my blog, however the cake that I ordered to help us celebrate was far too good not to be talked about.

I mean come on, look at it.  I had to try one of the pebbles pretty much straight away because I couldn't get over the fact that they were edible, it looked so life like.  I can assure you everything you see was edible, (minus the wire holding up the flowers).

(Excuse the raindrops, we got caught in a downpour on the way into the house)

If you are local to Essex I cannot recommend Steve's Sweet Catering enough.  Amazing service, and exactly what I was after, in fact better than I could have imagined.  

And my Nan, well she loved it.

~ Gem x

If You Go Down To The Woods Today...

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.  At least I hope you will be, with the thousands upon thousands of bluebells that are springing up all over the country at the moment.  

I can't get enough of them.  They are absolutely beautiful and they smell amazing too.  Seeing a blanket of purple across the floor beneath the trees, listening to the birds singing their song, at that moment in time I feel weightless.  It's my happy place for sure.  

I've been making the most of seeing them in one of the local woods near me with a few visits over the past couple of weeks and I'll be sad to see them disappear for another year.  I wonder whether I'll be able to squeeze in many more visits, who knows, but I know I shall try.

~ Gem x

May 2017 Bucket List

Today marks the first of a new month and even better it's a bank holiday here in the UK.  I intend to make the most of the extra day off work with copious cups of tea and some down time with my book plus anything else that I can manage to squeeze into my day.  As for the rest of the month I'd like to:

* Get up to date with blogging ~

I have quite a few posts sitting in my drafts at the moment, I'm hoping to change that in the coming weeks

* Focus on my 30 before 30 list ~

I'm very conscious that time is slipping away from me and before I know it July will be here so I'd really like to try and get some more things from the list crossed off this month.

* Get creative ~

I can't remember the last thing that I made.  I have seriously lost my creative mojo so I intend on working to get this back this month.  I have a couple of projects in mind.

Not too much to focus on this month, but there's enough to keep me busy.

~ Gem x